Everybody Has a Story

Several years ago in Germany, I caught a few minutes of Oprah while I was flipping through channels. On the show, a reporter was talking about a piece that he was doing for the Oprah show. In front of him were several panels which showed the seating plan of the Oprah audience. He took a dart and threw it at the panels, and naturally, it hit one of the seats. The woman who was actually sitting in the seat then became the subject of his next report. This reporter believed that everybody has a story, and that woman was now slated to tell hers.

I learned a lot from those few moments of the show. The reporter pointed out that most of us don't think we have a story (this was before the reality TV craze), but when given the chance to share, all of us DO have a story. I found this quote from him: "Working on this project has forever changed how I look at people," he says. "It's impossible now to walk past anyone and not realize that every single person is unique and has something worthy to say. I've met so many people from so many different walks of life during this project, and I've been able to see first-hand how wonderfully complicated we really are."

When I saw some of the people that he had randomly chosen in the past, I had to admit that I was quick to judge them. They weren't always the most stellar looking people. However, after hearing their stories, they were more than easy to love. I realized then and there that I needed to apply this idea to how I treat others.

I am SO easily offended. Honestly, once someone hurts my feelings, it's terribly hard for me to trust them again. I will purposely avoid any contact with them, I think to protect myself from being hurt more. To John's credit, he doesn't struggle with this at all. He feels no offense and gives none (purposefully, at least). I frequently bash myself over the head, wondering why I can't be like John. After seeing the TV piece, I decided to try the "everybody has a story" on people who would offend me. I must admit that it was hard at first. Looking at individuals in a different light who had said personally mean things to me, or who had treated me thoughtlessly was nearly impossible. However, when I turned the idea around, it was easier. People judge me all the time. The most common thing I hear from people is "I was really intimidated by you when I first met you, but then I got to know you and found out that you are really nice." I heard the word "intimidating" so many times that I started to call it the "I" word. I appreciated people who could get to know me before judging me, or who could see that I was hurt or offended and would walk up to me and talk to me about it instead of judging me and consequently ignoring me. Didn't people deserve the same from me? Absolutely.

Although I am still far from perfect, or even far from being any good at this, it does help me. I don't react as quickly to people and really, I do try and give them the benefit of the doubt.

As with most things, however, I think it's hard when we aren't treated with the same philosophy.

Yesterday, my feelings were deeply hurt by a member of John's family. My first reaction was to get mad and say something back. I resisted, however, trying to take the high road as I always tell the kids to do. Then, I started thinking through the whole thing logically and made a case for myself. Then, I decided to sleep on it.

I've been studying the gospels in the New Testament for the past month. I am always so touched, thinking about Christ and his treatment of people. He didn't cater to the rich and famous, he didn't stroke the egos of the people. Because he was divinely perfect, he could see through to the hearts of those who were indeed "pure in heart" and sought them out. In other words, he knew everybody's story and loved them for it.

How thankful I am that I know that he knows my story. How thankful I am that he can weigh my life in the balance and see the good that others don't see. Yes, there will be lots of bad on the other side of my life scale, but at least he won't see only that. I know that I am trying my best to do my best at treating people well. It's hard for me sometimes, and my efforts may go unnoticed by the majority, but I really am trying to remember that "everybody has a story", and I hope that others will remember that about me.