One Resolution

I don't generally make New Years' resolutions.  In fact, I don't feel much of anything with the new year, except that I need to remember to write the new year on my checks.  My hope is that I will already be living with a set of goals to improve my life and will be working on those goals continuously, new year or not.

I noticed on Ethan's mission president's blog that the mission is starting a program to read the entire Book of Mormon in 4 months.  Beginning my fast today, I felt that it would be one more way to support Ethan if I too was to read along with him and his mission.  Granted, I've lost count of how many times I've read the Book of Mormon in my life, but I like the times when I blow through it quickly.  Being one that can't remember plots very well, when I'm reading the Book of Mormon in large chunks, I follow the story better :-)

I thought along with it, I would record some of my thoughts.  I know that these won't make the most exciting blog posts, and I suspect most people won't even read them (which is probably a good thing).  I would record them on paper, in my actual journal, but ... I don't know ... this seems like a better idea.  I know that I would love to read others' thoughts about the Book of Mormon, so who knows?  Maybe somebody else will benefit from this?

The one disclaimer to doing this is that these thoughts are personal.  They are not preaching in any way, shape, or form.  I'm not trying to tell anybody what they should or shouldn't do, and I'm not judging anyone.  These are really just my own personal thoughts.

Today, the first assignment was to read the first three chapters of Nephi 1.  Before I read those chapters, however, I was looking at Facebook (I know, I know, I'm working on my priorities).  I have recently connected with some people that I knew in both junior high and high school, and it's been nothing short of interesting to see how their lives have turned out.  Without going into any specifics, there have been several people who have shocked me with some of their life choices.  I can see that they are obsessed with the things that the world can give them, and despite how happy they appear to be, underneath there is a definite feeling of unhappiness.

I just can't stop thinking about them.  When we were kids, all seemed good with the world.  We hung together because we had the same interests and goals and desires.  Somewhere along the way, however, we made distinctly different choices.  Again, I'm not saying that mine are better, but I can say, without reservation, that I am happy.  My life is good.  Things have turned out better than I could have ever imagined.  My friends are still looking for that happiness.  They are searching for something that they just can't find.

With those thoughts in my mind, I read tonight about Lehi, Nephi and Laman and Lemuel.  It was easy to draw a parallel between that story and the lives of my friends.  I think when we were young, we all knew inherently what was good, and what wasn't.  As we grew up (and went our separate ways), we had decisions to make that would affect the rest of our lives.  One choice would be made which would lead to another set of choices, and so on.  All of the sons of Lehi had the same kinds of choices to make, and from those choices, came a new set.  Obviously, Nephi chose correctly, and Laman and Lemuel didn't.  (History proves that if the family had stayed in Jerusalem (per Laman and Lemuel), all of the family members would have been destroyed along with the city itself.)  The choices might have seemed so small in the beginning, but they led to lifetimes of happiness, or not.  Thinking about the differences between my friends and me, I'm thinking that the defining choices were made early on.  Feeling the undercurrent of unhappiness and loneliness, I feel so sad for them.  I wish I had been there to help them along the way.

Again, I am so thankful for the gospel.  When I think about the root of all goodness in my life, I can peel back the layers until I find just one thing.  Jesus Christ.  He is the center of all happiness.  When my life is centered on him and his teachings, everything makes sense.  It isn't necessarily easier (check out all my blog posts from last year about my ankle), but trials and adversity make more sense.  Living a life following the Savior only leads to happiness.  I would hate to think about my life if I had chosen differently when I had the defining choice to make--to give everything to the Lord, or to follow my own plan.