Ethan's Mission Call

Puzzles. Ethan and I love puzzles. Right now, our dining room table is covered in a 3,000 piece puzzle that Ethan chose for the two of us in Germany. In the beginning of a large puzzle, things seem very disorganized and a mess, but over time, the pieces become familiar. In fact, there is a moment of celebration when one finds the missing piece, puts it in its place and sees the larger picture. For each of my children, I feel like their lives are puzzles to me. I'm not sure who they are when they first come to our family, but as I have gotten to know them, there are small moments of celebration when I see whom they are becoming. Last night, hearing Ethan's mission call, a very large piece of the puzzle was put in place and my heart was filled with joy.

For those of you who haven't received a phone call, email message or checked your Facebook, Ethan received his mission call yesterday. It was such a beautiful, wonderful moment (and funny, of course, in some ways--why wouldn't it be for us?) that I wanted to share my take on it all.

In November, I was giving more time to John's family history, trying to ready a Christmas present for his family. Most of his family came to this country within the last 150 years, so finding his lines can be challenging. I already knew that he had lines from Croatia, Germany, Greece and Ireland, but a day before I needed to submit all the information, I discovered a line that came from Danzig, Prussia. While I was excited that I had found a lead towards that location, I didn't give it much thought.

In December, John and I headed to Gdansk, Poland with our friends, Jared and Sarah Moran. When I told Ethan about the upcoming trip, he said to me, "You know the significance of Gdansk, don't you?" I had not a clue. He pulled out a blank sheet of paper and began describing to me all the history that surrounded Gdansk, including the fact that it was previously called Danzig, East Prussia. Wait a minute. Danzig? Like the city where some of your father's and your family came from?

It's been an interesting phenomenon for John and me to get certain feelings about places as we have travelled around the world. We have discovered that when we (oftentimes unknowingly) visit a country of our forefathers, we feel a certain peace there and a love for that country that we don't feel elsewhere.

When we went on our trip to Poland, John was overwhelmed with his love for Poland. He loved everything about it--well, everything but the police :-) I told John during that trip that I thought Ethan might go to Poland on his mission. We both came away from that trip, saying that Poland was one of our favorite places ever.

It was just coincidence that Ethan's mission call came in the mail yesterday, an hour before we were scheduled to leave for DC. In that hour, I tried desperately to steam open the envelope, but when the paper began getting really wet, I gave up that measure. Then, I tried to look in the envelope window, but drat it, the church prints the address on a blank sheet of paper. Holding the envelope up to the window did no good either--they send the call in a lined envelope---you would think the church has dealt with nosy mothers before, or something!

I picked up John in Altoona at 2 (I should have known good things were coming when John actually got out of work on time!) and we arrived at the temple at 5:10, just in time for the 5:30 session. As always, it was so comforting to be in the temple, and for me, it was such good preparation for what was to come. We have been praying for Ethan's mission call for months, or maybe I should say we have been praying that we all would feel comforted when he received his mission call. Finishing those prayers off with one last one in the temple was just perfect.

John drove like a crazy man through the snowy streets of DC to get to Ethan. Ethan's school cafeteria closed at 8:00, and it was 7:50. John, not to be one to pass up free, unlimited food insisted that we eat first. Ethan just kept his envelope close the whole time.

Finally, we headed to the library and found a quiet room where he could open up his computer and we could be alone. It was 8:45 and the library closed at 9:00, so we tried to remain calm under pressure and not feel rushed through the moment. We Skyped the girls at home and we all said a prayer together. Then, Ethan being oh-so-respectful to me, covered the entire letter with the cover address page and slowly pulled it down, one line at a time as he read.

The first line held so much potential and yet was terribly disappointing to Ethan: Dear Elder Kennedy, You have been called to serve as a missionary in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

At this point, Ethan was shaking like a leaf. His hands were shaking and his voice was shaking.

He pulled down the paper and read the second line: You have been called to serve in the Warsaw Poland mission. As Ethan has said before, he's not one to cry about anything, but the rest of the letter went by in a blur as he cried while he read it, we cried while we listened, and Johannah cried on the other end of the computer screen. The words in the rest of the letter seemed like a personal letter from Heavenly Father to Ethan. It spoke of his goodness and his worthiness and expressed great expectations from him on his mission.

Lights were flashing in the library, indicating that we needed to leave. We threw on our coats and headed to the student union where Ethan started posting, emailing, texting and calling. All night long I dreamt about him going to Poland.

People have been speaking frequently of late about "tender mercies" of the Lord and referring to them as just blessings. I think the tender mercies of the Lord are more than that. I think they are unexpected blessings from the Lord. Blessings that we didn't think we needed or even wanted, but the Lord sends and we feel gratitude for them. I think there have been many tender mercies in regards to this call that I can identify, and I'm sure there are some that I don't even know about:

I believe the fact that Ethan speaks German will be a great blessing to him in Poland. Because Poland is a new democracy, the Poles descend from Germans and Russians. Poland borders Germany for miles and miles. I can't imagine that there won't be someone, somewhere who will speak only German and Ethan will be able to teach them the gospel also.

In the six years that we lived in Germany, I only visited Poland to buy pottery. What a beautiful blessing that John and I could visit it only weeks before Ethan got his call and feel so wonderful about the country. I think I might have felt very nervous otherwise.

Ethan has never stepped foot in Poland. Of all the countries that he has visited, Heavenly Father picked one that will be new for Ethan. There's always something wonderful the first time one visits a country for the first time, and by the end of his mission, I'm sure that he will feel that it is "his" country.

Genealogy. Oh man, the tears are already welling up for me. Ethan's patriarchal blessing speaks much about the experiences he will have in doing genealogy. Those records will be written in German and Polish, and he will be able to find those family members and seal them to him for eternity. What a blessing.

Ethan met a fantastic professor last semester who encouraged him to take another class of his this semester. Ethan changed his schedule so that he could, and turns out, he loves the class more than the one from last semester. The subject? Russian history.

I think I need to mention here how thankful I am for the power of fasting and prayer. What a blessing to feel the comforting power of the Spirit as Ethan read his mission call--we all knew instantly that it was exactly where Ethan is supposed to go.

One last tender mercy. Thinking selfishly, it's going to be terribly hard for me to see Ethan go. I count him as one of my closest friends, and I can't imagine not being able to speak with him on a daily basis. He put his availability date as May 11, and we planned on flying out with him around then. Turns out, Ethan's report date is June 23, four days after our already planned trip to Utah is over. Now, Ethan can drive with all of us out to Utah, see some family and friends and spend some time there in the temple and doing genealogy with me. His siblings can see him off at the curb of the MTC. Four days afterwards, we are scheduled to show up at Interlochen. I know that I will need the distractions of Interlochen when he leaves. I cried for a week when he left for college, sitting at home and thinking about him. I'm so grateful that I will be busy and happily ensconced at camp so that I don't have too much time to think about him being gone. I know it's a wonderful thing that he's going, but it's still hard for me. Thank you, Heavenly Father, for timing everything so perfectly.

Words really can't do justice to all the feelings that we have. Our hearts are just full of gratitude for it all. Now begins the fasting for Ethan's future missionary companions, for his safety and for his heart to be focused on the work at hand....