Self-Pity, Stuttering and Fleas

I'm not going to lie. This week, while a wonderful distraction, has been pretty hard for me. I've been going full speed, as if I don't have a cast and a broken ankle, and it's been exhausting. I haven't wanted the kids to feel at all that I'm suffering, and I don't think I have. At times, despite the pain meds and the bruises on my other leg, my ankle just throbs, swells and reminds me that it is, indeed, broken. In addition, I haven't been sleeping well, again due to the meds, the pain and the awkwardness of sleeping with a leg cast.

Needless to say, the mornings are the hardest for me. This morning, I was feeling mighty sorry for myself when I headed to church. Two members from the local branch actually come to camp and hold sacrament meeting. Along with those two men, they bring two missionaries. Honestly, all of the kids and visiting faculty are so thankful to have meetings on campus since no students are allowed to leave. I have had a rather soft spot in my heart for these elders, thinking of Ethan being in the mission field. The first Sunday that we were at camp, and they both spoke, I could feel the Spirit and knew they were indeed servants of God.

The senior missionary is a really good speaker, and it's obvious he's been out a while. The junior elder is so good looking. He has a great smile and terrific glasses :-) However, as soon as he opened his mouth to bless the sacrament, I felt like my heart was stabbed through with a knife. He has a terrible problem with stuttering. Sometimes, he repeats the same word 7 or 8 times, trying to say the word that comes afterward. Listening to him today, I was so ashamed of all of the pity I have been heaping on myself. How long will my cast be on? 2-3 months at most with a few months of therapy afterwards. I might never run again, but I will walk.

How long has that poor boy been suffering from stuttering? His entire life, and if now is any indication, he will struggle with it for the rest of his life. I have no reason to complain.

Then, later in the day, John texted me that he was watching the end of "The Hiding Place", the story of Corrie Ten Boom who lived through a concentration camp. In the book that she wrote, she told the story that she and the other woman in her dormitory were miserable from an infestation of fleas. When Corrie felt like she could take it no longer, her sister pointed out that the fleas were actually a blessing. Because of the infestation, the Nazi guards actually stayed out of the barracks and left the Jewish women alone.

My life is full, rich and blessed. When I feel like I am persecuted or abandoned by my Heavenly Father, I need to remember how much worse things can be. I will quickly realize that I have no reason to complain.